After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
