just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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