i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
