fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize