If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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