pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
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