You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
