The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
