can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
