I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
