why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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