Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
