Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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