i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
