Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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