I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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