so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
