I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
