It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
