I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
