Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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