If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
the day after is always just damage control
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
