Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We left an ass print on the piano.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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