I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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