Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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