I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
