People with herpes should wear stickers.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
