The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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