If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
