i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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