dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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