Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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