we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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