Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
