waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
foreskin is a definite game changer
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
