help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
did i just pee glitter
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
