Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
