a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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