Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
i think i just lost a toe
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
