U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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