I want to stick my p in your. b.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
