Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
