i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
