i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
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