Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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