I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
