She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
