When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just had sex on a roof
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
