you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
