The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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