he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
nutella sex= disaster
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
