Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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