Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize