Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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