covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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