that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
