I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
