You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
he laminated a picture of his dick.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You ruined the universe
Randomize
