is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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