WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Holy sore nipples Batman
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
