dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Alive.
So much puke
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
