hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
