I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I would fuck him just for his dog
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
