K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
