When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
