Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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