Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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